Summer

Hello everybody

This last Summer it was quite event full. It was consisted with a lot ups and downs as well. The down have been very hard and made me question a lot lot lot things , where is God when it hurts?Why is this things happens to me? I think I have learned to handle stress better these past few months than I have before.

First of all, I got gallbladder surgery in January ..That was good , because I know now it was not ulcer . I have did self medication , Why didn`t work this medicine? I have took ?of course It was not ulcer. In other hand I miss my English test for Graphic Designer .

Then ,after one month, I travelled to Japan for " holidays " for 2 weeks .It was fun and good. But I received bad news fm my home in Brz, my father pass away. and I didn`t know how to cope ...the weather in Brz was terrible hot and my family want to bury him in 12 hs. My mom told me It was not necessary to rush. She understood my situation and when I get time I will see his grave when I came back to Brz for my sister's wedding.For Asian, it is not good you not going to see your old folks when they died. They will judge you and blame you.

The good thing is my family totaly understand ..my absence.

Living far has your consequences.

After ... I am running a patchwork lessons at Scarborough Baptist Church, I have to prepare lessons...and I have to go Bible College,studing New Testament and I have assignments to do and I have to do my usual housewife routine.( daughter, husband,house, supermaket, shops, dentist, optomestrist...)

I am so depressed because a lot bad things happened in a small lack of time . I don`t know until now. How I could survive? I feel guilt over sins because I understand I am not perfect and I have my limits.

" We all have shadows and skeletons in our backgrounds. But listen, there is something bigger in this world than we are and that something bigger is full of grace and mercy, patience and ingenuity. The moment the focus of your life shifts from your badness to his goodness and the questions becomes not "What have I done?" but "What we can do?" release from remorse can happen; miracles of miracles, you can forgive yourself because you are forgiven, accept yourself because you are accepted , and begin to start building up the every places you once tore down. There is grace to help in every time trouble. That grace is the secret to being able to forgive ourselves. Trust it " The Ragamuffin Gospel pg 117 Brennan Mannnig

and I love it , and I feel better ...the "Grace" is my secret to heal myself

GBU

Maru